Self-Care Tips You Need Right Now (and how to find the silver lining during these uncertain times)
Self-Care Tips To Take Care of Yourself First and Live a Happy, Healthy and More Fulfilling Life
I started writing this post a few weeks ago…before the current corona virus pandemic rocked our world. Since self-care will be more critical yet also challenging in the coming weeks, I added some insight about how I’m seeing the silver lining during these turbulent times. I wish you and your family well and am sending good thoughts your way. 😍
When was the last time you were running from a bear? Seriously, I can almost guarantee that at some point in the last week your body’s nervous system thought you were running from a wild animal and ramped up your cortisol, sending you into fight or flight mode. This was me on Monday when we were deciding whether to cancel our trip.
Unfortunately, the human body doesn’t know the difference between the stress you perceive sitting in traffic, worried that you’ll be late for a meeting or to pick up your kids, and the real physical stress you endure running for your life.
The human body is not designed to stay in the fight or flight mode 24/7, but many of us in today’s fast-paced world are doing just that. At some point our body will start to send signals that it can’t keep up this pace….trust me…it will happen (think trouble sleeping, brain fog, weight gain or other unwanted symptoms). How would you feel if you were truly living your happiest, healthiest and most fulfilling life—a life where you are comfortable in your own skin. It all starts with taking care of your-self first.
As some of you may know, I am a recovering CPA, caffeine and sugar addict turned holistic health coach. I used sugar, alcohol and large amount of coffee and processed foods to help me through each day. I was burnt out; my motto was work hard, play hard, and I wore lack of sleep as a badge of honor.
There is a good reason why airlines tell us to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others in the event of an emergency. You must take care of yourself in order to be the best version of you for those around you.
More than five years ago, I quit my job and went back to school to become a holistic health coach, and it wasn’t until I started diving into a variety of dietary practices and lifestyle hacks that I truly understood what it means to have a self-care practice. That said, if someone would have suggested that I take a bath and do deep breathing exercises when I was in the peak of my stressful career, I would have told them they were crazy and that I didn’t have time.
When I started incorporating these self-care tips into my life, I immediately began to feel the benefits. But I didn’t start doing these all overnight. I started small with just one tip on a regular basis. Once I mastered it, I started to feel good in my own skin and was energized and motivated to try another.
Here are my top 10 self-care tips to incorporate into your life:
Establish a morning routine. For years I skipped morning workouts from pure exhaustion because I was working late into the night and usually snoozed several times before frantically waking up and rushing out the door. A morning routing doesn’t have to be a 45-minute ritual. Only have 5 minutes? Here is what you can do in just a few short minutes. drink a warm water with lemon (hydrate), practice deep belly breathing for 1 minutes, spend 2 minutes moving or stretching (body weight squats, push ups, planks, yoga moves), journal or set your intentions for the day. For more ideas and strategies, check out this Art of Living Well podcast episode. Even though your day is likely disrupted and less structured than normal, I still encourage a morning routine, it may just look a little different.
Get outside in nature every day! This year I fully implemented my own advice. I started walking at 6 a.m. in the cold and dark, and it actually felt good (and this is coming from someone who hates being cold)! The sunshine and fresh air makes a huge impact on my mood and mental state. Soon it will be warm enough to eat outside, which I do as much as possible (often to my kids’ dismay). One of the silver linings with social distancing and many people working from home is the number of people walking and biking outside. I love seeing families together (especially ones with teenagers) and the dogs are in heaven with more walks than normal. I’m planning to have outdoor happy hours with a few neighbors once it warms up and utilize our fire pit until then.
Move your body! This one is hard. I had no idea how sedentary I was most days until I started tracking my steps on my watch. You may work out in the morning but then spend the rest of your day sitting at your desk and in the car. Now when I have sedentary days, I set alarms on my phone to get up every 1-2 hours and move for just 1 minute. Go on a walk during lunch, do 15 pushups, squats, lunges. The human body was designed to move, not sit at our desk all day. The benefit of working from home and not having any activities or social engagements is that we have more time to get outside for quick bursts of movement. I love taking walks after dinner when it warms up. Plus, walking is a great way to see your friends and neighbors while still practicing “social distancing,”
Meditate/practice deep breathing. I’ve really struggled with establishing a regular meditation practice. It’s probably only been the past 9 months, thanks to working with a meditation guru, that I feel like I have a consistent practice (well sort of). I like to use apps on my phone and YouTube videos but also enjoy simply setting my timer and using my mind as a guide. I often meditate in my car after my morning workouts before I enter the house. I notice a big difference in my stress level and my ability to be calmer with my family when I take just 5 minutes to meditate.
Given these stressful times, it’s even more critical that you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, and deep belly breathing is equally as powerful as meditation. Use the breathe app on your watch. I often practice breathing in the car, when I’m waiting in line or before a tennis match. In fact the other day I had to give myself a mom time out and went upstairs to sit in silence and breathe. So much of our current situation is outside of our control, and the unknown is often what causes the elevated stress. Before you grab the cookie or chip, try taking some deep breaths and know that this will pass. I do believe there will be a positive shift for many of us as we rethink our priorities.
Go to bed by 10 p.m. The human body needs 7-9 hours of sleep every night, and there is no such thing as a night owl. Our circadian rhythm is designed so that we rise with the sun and go to sleep when it’s dark. Modern technology makes it easier for us to stay up into all hours of the night but that doesn’t mean we should. I used to be a night owl—sitting on my couch with my computer and something sweet to snack on while working to midnight.
My evening routine now consists of having a calming cup of tea and retreating to my room before 10 p.m. with a good book and my journal. I quickly learned that if I wanted to establish a morning routine that I needed to get to bed earlier.
Confession: I’ve been way off my schedule the past couple of nights and that’s ok. I was supposed to be on vacation so I am giving myself some grace; however, I did go to bed a little closer to normal last night and set an alarm so that I don’t get too far off schedule. Having a routine makes me happier and calmer so even though we’re eating dinner later and having fun family time at night, I’m still going to get to bed at a reasonable hour to help with my sanity during the day when there are five of us at home.
Plan. Failing to plan is planning to fail. I’ve made huge improvements in this area in recent years. I finally mastered meal planning and prep so that I don’t end up in a situation where I’m stressed about how to feed my family before they head out the door for evening activities or worse when I’m starving and there are no healthy food options nearby. I sign up for workout classes in advance, I pack my lunch and snacks, drink plenty of water and schedule my self-care. Well, the good news here is that we don’t need to have 15-minute dinners and eat in shifts from a slow cooker or Instant Pot for the next few weeks. I’m really enjoying our extended family dinners that allow us to have in-depth conversations and discuss the current events and how everyone feels about our “new normal.”
Explore healing modalities. I used to think massages were a luxury; something I did on the occasional vacation. Since diving into my new career, I’ve learned that we need healing modalities as part of our routine therapy and self-care. This includes massages, acupuncture, sauna and other healers and seekers who are all critical components of my self-care practice. Be open and receptive to a variety of healers and recognize when you need help and ask for it! Many of these people in my life are small business owners who may be struggling right now. I will be buying gift cards and doing virtual sessions when available. Now more than ever we need to seek out people to help us through this challenging time; let’s support each other.
Read a book or listen to a podcast (tech free time). Find an inspiration or motivating podcast or maybe one that makes you laugh. Have a tech- and distraction-free lunch. Your mind needs a break to recharge, and I notice that I’m more focused and productive after my tech-free lunch. It’s been hard for me to put the phone away during lunch, but it’s really a much-needed break to sit and chew my food, enjoy conversation or maybe listen to a motivating and entertaining podcast. Looking for an inspiring and motivating podcast series? Check out The Art of Living Well Podcast, which I co-host with Marnie Dachis Marmet. Now is a great time to read a good book. Here are a few books on my bedside table: Little Fires Everywhere, Revolution of the Soul & The Third Plate.
I just ordered a couple of puzzles for my kids to do when they start going stir-crazy; plus this is a great activity to accomplish together as a family and use your brain in different ways than normal.
Do something to ignite your creativity. I used to think you were either creative (aka Martha Stewart) or not creative (me). I used to struggle to find a passion before I became a health coach. In the past couple of years, I’ve done a few things outside of my comfort zone that I’ve really enjoyed: floral arranging class, dance classes and cooking. I felt so proud the day that I brought home a beautiful floral arrangement from a class and my daughter couldn’t believe that I made it. Cooking and creating recipes has become my regular creative outlet, something I have no formal training in and only started a few years ago. With more time to cook, my entire family including all three kids have been baking and cooking since the schools shut-down (check out my daily IG stories for highlights). I highly encourage you to use your newfound free time to explore a passion that will spark your creativity. What was your favorite class in elementary school or an activity you loved doing when you were younger? Was it playing the piano, drawing, dancing, singing, cooking or writing? How can you incorporate these activities into your life today?
If you like to decorate you can use this time to purge unwanted items that you (and/or your kids) can sell or donate and also find ways to repurpose items in your house. I was excited to have the time yesterday to clean out a small play room that never gets used in our basement and am considering how I can convert it to a workout area and make it more teen/family friendly.
Journal. So this is one tip that until recently I regularly gave to clients but didn’t do myself. Yes, I had pretty journals in my nightstand but would only use them to write down my to-do list when I couldn’t fall asleep or woke up in the middle of the night. I decided this year to make journaling one of my goals, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised at not only how much I enjoy it but how I’ve been able to keep with this new habit 80% of the time. Start small. You can simply keep a daily log of things you are grateful for and what you’re looking forward to the next day. When I journal, I notice an improvement in my mental state by focusing on what really matters and starting/ending the day in a state of gratitude.
Now is a great time to document the current events of the world and how this is impacting your day-to-day life, especially your emotions. You’ll be able to go back in the months and years to come and read about your life during these tumultuous times.
So how are you going to incorporate some of these tips into your life? Here are my strategies to help develop and sustain your self-care practice:
Consider self-care a top priority. I add it to my calendar and communicate my needs with my family, work colleagues, etc. Treat it like you do the most important meeting on your calendar because your self-care is one of the most important things you will do every day.
Find a buddy to hold you accountable, sign up for a class that will charge you if you don’t show up, meet a friend for a walk or a new class you are hesitant to do on your own. Just recently I asked a friend to join me for a guided meditation class in a salt sanctuary I’ve been wanting to try in addition to our planned coffee date. With gyms closed for the next few weeks, get creative about how you keep to your workout routine. Meet up with friends at a local park and do your own workout or go for a walk. Many gyms are doing virtual classes, so you can sign-up in advance.
Listen to your body!! For me this has meant completely changing my workouts the past 5 months and now instead of HIIT or intense workouts I am walking, practicing light yoga and doing barre classes. I used to favor the running and jumping instead of yoga as my mind would wander and I’d look at my watch every 5 minutes. Plus I must confess that I never considered yoga a true “workout” (boy, was I wrong). I now realize that my racing mind was an indicator that I needed yoga over the high-intensity class.
Listening to your body may mean turning down social invitations in favor or more sleep when you’re exhausted, or to be able to attend the early morning workout that will leave you feeling energized. One thing I like to do is to ask a friend to meet for a walk instead of coffee (or do both) so that I can get outside and move while catching up and having much needed girlfriend time. As I update this post, I realize that by the time social distancing has passed we will all be craving more social interaction, but for now utilize the time to tune into what your body needs and start forming new habits while you have more time…yet another silver lining.
Reframe your thoughts. I constantly need to remind myself that we don’t have to be everything for everyone. As a mom I struggle with the guilt associated with not attending all the sporting events, but I now listen to my body and realize that quality over quantity is what matters. I’m a more present, grounded and patient mother when I’ve taken the time for my yoga class or done an activity to spark my creativity. Instead of feeling guilt, I now reframe those thoughts and acknowledge that I’m being a role model for my family and friends.
Having a self-care practice has made me a calmer, happier and healthier person, which has made me a better friend, mother, leader and spouse. I’m far from perfect, but I can see how far I’ve come over the past five years and am thankful for my journey. I know my self-care practice still has room for improvement. My meditation practice comes and goes, and I just started to journal this year. Self-care also evolves over time based on your state of life and what you need. Start small. Don’t try to tackle all of these at once. Take daily moments to walk, meditate, meal prep, get outside. The smaller the behavior change, the longer-lasting and more sustainable the habit becomes.
What does your self-care practice look and feel like today? Which of these tips do you want to incorporate into your life? Drop me a note or schedule your free consultation today and learn how you can create sustainable habits to feel amazing in your own skin this year!